Christopher's Fund Family Entertainment Evening

Click on the poster to see full size.

Wow that's huge!!

Andy went to France last week on a fishing trip. There was 14 of them all together. After a long drive and lots of hours travelling they finally got there Friday afternoon (they left Thursday evening).

Andy's aim was to catch the biggest fish he'd ever caught and on the Tuesday at 8am he succeeded!!

Here's a pic of his 31lb 6oz mirror carp!!

Getting set for the charity concert!

We have our first production meeting tomorrow night for the Christopher's Fund charity concert in November.

I've already had people asking for tickets so I need to get them sorted soon!

This year, unlike previous years, we are going to have dancers too!

We've raised so much money each year by having the concert, I really hope this year is just as successful.

Sarah x

Front page news!!

Wow! I've not actually seen it myself yet, but had this article emailed to me and apparently it was on the front page of one of the local papers!! It should be in another tomorrow too!!

That will make four papers that Katherine has appeared in for winning through to the regional finals!!

Isobel has started school!

I've not blogged much over the summer. It's just been so busy here. I seem to be only blogging when there's some specific news. I didn't even blog about our wonderful holiday or our weekend at the Greenbelt festival!

Anyway Isobel started school yesterday afternoon and she's been this afternoon too and she's loved it. It's come round so quickly!

She looked so grown up in her uniform. It really took me back to when the others started and it's really brought it home too how Christopher never made it there, he was really looking forward to going to school :o(

Here are a couple of pics.

Sarah x

Well done Katherine!

Katherine got her GCSE results today and she did really well! She got an A in Physics!! Six B's, three C's and one D.

She needed 5 C's or above to get into sixth form college so she's easily achieved that.
The D was for textiles which she's not enjoyed from the start so she expected not to do as well in that although she's done better than she expected.

As a treat for doing so well I payed for her to have her nails shaped and polished and now she has lovely pink nails with a little flower on one finger on each hand.
Sarah x

Yay for Katherine!!

Yesterday I went on the train with Katherine to Wolverhampton to an audition for Idol Uk 2008, it's similar to the X Factor but it includes dancers as well as singers.

Katherine sang in the under 18's solo category, she sang 'there are worse things' which is a song from Grease in front of 5 judges and............ they really liked her!!

She's through to the regional final in October which is a live show!!!

I'm so excited for her!

If she wins in the regional final she will progress to the national final which is in November.

If anyone wants to come to support her in the regional final (the audience gets to vote to the more support the better), please let me know as I have 25 tickets to sell!!
Sarah x

New new hours!

I went into work today and my Manager said she had made a mistake and couldn't offer me the hours on Thursday that she first thought. After some shuffling about we've agreed for me to work Friday 10am-1.30pm. It's not ideal as Andy finishes work at 12pm on a Friday and it would have been nice to have had some time together but hopefully we can review them and see how it goes.

Sarah x

Arrrrgggghhhh......

Just had a phone call from St Martins to say that Matt can't go to Alton Towers tomorrow cos he drew 'male genitalia' on the board and we lose our sodding money in the bargain!

I understand it's not a great thing for him to have done but who's not drawn something they shouldn't on the board over the years? I think it's a complete overreaction and I told her so (Mrs Carson).

Apparently the over-head projector was showing a picture of a man and a woman onto the white board and some of the kids decided to draw on the images which was fair enough giving the woman a moustache etc but Matthew decided to give her a willy!

I said it was a big thing for us to let him go as we couldn't really afford it being so close to our holiday and I'm not at all happy about the money just being wasted.

Honestly I could sodding scream - at Matt for being a prat but at the bloody school for being arseholes. They'd just been praising him and telling how amazing he was cos he played his guitar at someone's wake yesterday.

It goes from one extreme to another. Give me a break!!!!

Sarah x

Finally got my new hours at work!!

After weeks of waiting I finally got my new working hours. I applied to get them changed when Andy was first ill and it's taken this long for the hours to become available.

I'll be working Monday 9.15am-3.15pm, Thursday 11.30am-3pm and Saturday will be the same 2pm-6pm. It will suit family life much better.

The only slight fly in the ointment is the fact that Isobel will finish school at 3pm and the fact that I'll have to work bank holidays but hopefully Katherine or Mark's schedule might make it possible for one of them to collect Isobel and I'll just have to get organised and book some of the bank holidays as holiday.

Sarah x

Had a lovely weekend away

Andy and I had our first weekend (well overnight) away since we had the children!! We went to stay with my sister Jane and her partner Lyn. We had a great time.

Jane cooked a gorgeous meal for us on Saturday evening and even baked bread! Lyn did a gorgeous dessert out of the Asda brochure.

We had a very relaxing evening and a good nights sleep.

The next morning we had a cup of tea brought to us in bed and a bacon buttie. We went for a mooch around Arnold and bought some bits for the kids as we didn't like to go home empty handed.

Lyn treated us to lunch and it was the most amazing all you can eat chinese buffet. It was really delicious. Andy was impressed with the spare ribs, he said he was the best he'd ever tasted!

The kids had a fab time. On Saturday afternoon my parents took them to Foxton locks and they went on a boat trip! Then on the way home they stopped at the Lime Kilns pub for tea.

Mark came to stay overnight and they were all fine. They ordered pizza in even after having eaten out!

The next morning they all got up early, Katherine cooked scrambled eggs for everyone for breakfast and they all walked up to church as youth band were leading the service.

In the afternoon Mum took Katherine and Isobel to Bosworth show and Matthew and Mark stayed here playing guitar all afternoon.

We arrived home around 6pm after a well needed break together.

Sarah x

Had a good week

It's been a busy week but a good week. Andy has been great, he really seems to be getting there now. He's much more his old self which is great news.

I did 3 hours at JCC on Wednesday morning and I'm back to my normal shifts at work.

I've won a few bits and pieces off ebay for our holiday. It's sooo much cheaper to buy from there if it's good quality second hand stuff. We've also been selling some bits too to make some money for our holiday!

I can't believe that we are going away next week, I'm so excited! I know my Mum is excited too. I ordered the holiday shopping from Tesco online so that will be delivered when we arrive at our lodge on Saturday - can't wait!

Sarah x

My girls! Oh and my boy!

Well Katherine went to college for the day today. She had a really good time and was with a couple of friends that she knows and also made a new friend! She has to go back tomorrow for the performing arts course and has to do a 3 minute presentation on something but for hers she's going to sing. She's looking forward to it!

Isobel went into school for an hour this afternoon. She met her new class teacher and spent some time in the classroom. She came out with a bag with some bits and pieces in, scissors, glue, paper etc. I got her some bits of uniform from the second hand box and she ended up putting one of the dresses on while we were still there - she looked so cute!

When Matthew got in from school this afternoon I caught him upstairs ironing his t-shirt!!! Yes ironing!! I said why are you ironing are you going out somewhere.... he gave me an embarrassed smile and said yes, I said are you going out with Jessica and he grinned again and said yes!

He finally plucked up the courage to ask her out on Saturday night and this was the first time he'd seen her since. They went a walk along the canal and apparently they held hands for a while, awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. My little boy is growing up!

Her Mum is one of my best friends so that's even better!!

Sarah x

More singing!!

We went to St Peter's Church summer fair today. It was sooo much better than last year as it chucked it down all day last time and although the weather wasn't the best, it was quite windy, at least it stayed fine!

Katherine was accompanied by Mark on guitar for two songs, she sang a song she'd written herself which is excellent and it was the first time she'd performed it and 'Heaven' which is a Bryan Adams song and then she sang 'There are worse things' from Grease and 'Penny to my name' to a backing track.

We had a nice couple of hours and the church gave us £20 for Christopher's Fund to say thanks. I felt a bit sorry for Kate though as she thought it was for her for a start :o(

Then in the evening she had a recital at a local high school. It was put on by the dance school that she goes to and there was lots of singing and dancing and my friend's daughter Erica was there doing a drama sketch!!

Katherine sang 'Everything I do' and blew everyone away! I have to say though she really did herself proud considering the busy weekend she'd had!

Sarah x

Grease is the word!

Katherine was asked to sing two songs at a fund raising evening to help raise money for Charlotte's Smiles. The charity was created in memory of 6 year old Charlotte Coates who died from cancer in December 2006. The charity pays for children with cancer to have days out and parties.

The evening was brilliant! Lots of people wore fancy dress. Katherine dressed up and looked amazing. She sang Hopelessly devoted and There are worse things. I'll put them on You Tube and put a link up when I get chance.

16 of us went and had the best time. There was so much going on! Dancers, singers, there was a roundabout outside for the kids. There was a raffle and an auction too and they managed to raise just over £2,500!!

Isobel danced so much. She really loved it. Matthew asked his 'friend' to go out with him too and she said yes so he's well chuffed lol!

Sarah x

School presentation

We went to an awards evening at JCC tonight.

Katherine was presented with a book as a thank you for services to the school - she was President of the school council. She had an A level psychology book and to her surprise she received £35 worth of book tokens from the Rotary club for services in the community too! They'll come in very handy when she's buying books for college.

It was a long seremony but the highlight was the traditional songs perfromed by the Kenyan students.

It's very sad to know that some children don't even have clothes to wear. It's inspired me to look into sponsoring a child. It's only £50 a year and it could make such a massive difference to a Kenyan child who in turn could make a huge difference to their community and improve life for 100's of people just by having the opportunity of an education.

Sarah x

The power of prayer?

Well something has changed for sure!

I went to work yesterday but came home an hour early as I wasn't feeling great, my tummy had been unsettled since the night before. When I got back Andy was painting in the back room!

After a while I said I felt that something had changed, I couldn't explain what but I just felt something was different and to my amazement he said that he felt it too! I said I felt like he/we were going to be ok and he said he agreed and he felt so much better and calmer.

We had a nice tea together and later on I went to my church cell group and I must admit I prayed on the way home that everything would be ok and it was!

We discussed it again last night that we knew something was different and he said he's feeling so much better and more positive. I asked him if he thought it was the fact that everyone I could think of was praying for us and he said he didn't know but it certainly was a strange coincidence - or as we Christian's like to say a 'Godincidence'.

I really hope this is the beginning of better times for us all.

Sarah x

Another difficult day

Mum had the children so that me and Andy could have some time together after yesterdays proceedings.

We decided to go to the Marina for tea. I know it was extravagent as we'd eaten out the night before but we just needed some time out.

We had two meals for £9 so it wasn't bad at all. We didn't have a pudding either which is a first! I went into the new hotel and picked up an application form as they need staff. It would be really handy for me working there as I can walk there and back and that's a big consideration now diesel is so expensive!

We had a really lovely couple of hours and later on the kids came home and Katherine and Matthew went back out again to youth cell and band practise. We put Isobel to bed and then things all went wrong again.

Andy ended up going out for a walk around the canal and I went upstairs and sreamed and cried into my pillow.

I was soooo frustrated - I just can't live like this anymore. I cried and was so angry.

Later on for some strange reason - around 9.30pm I started to paint the bathroom! I don't know if it was therapy or what it was but I felt really manic.

I finished painting and was just about to ask one of the kids (who by this time were home again) to come with me to try and find Andy and he was home!

I told him that I felt crap and maybe I should leave. I seemed to constantly fail at trying to make him happy and felt that they'd all be better off without me. We had a really good talk and sorted things out (again) and went to bed. I felt really sick all night. I don't know if it was the chicken tikka I'd had at the Marina.

During the day in desparation I sent out an urgent prayer request for Andy as I'd text him in the morning and he said he was feeling crap and really emotional.

Sarah x

Remembering Christopher

Today was a very sad day. It was 6 years today since Christopher died. I didn't feel too bad in the morning and while I was out at swimming lessons with Isobel I had a text from work asking if I could go in as they were desparately short of staff in the cafe.

I went in and did just over 3 hours work. It was very hard work but I really enjoyed it. They really wouldn't have managed without me!

When I left work I bought some flowers and picked the girls up and went to the cemetary.

In the afternoon I must admit I had a bit of a dose on the sofa. We planned to go out for a meal as we do that every year on his birthday and anniversary.

Well all hell broke lose with Andy. I cried more than I've cried in months and months. I won't go into detail but it was awful. He said he wasn't going to come out with us.

To cut a long story short, he eventually did come out with us and we had a nice family meal at the Milestone and we raised our glasses in Christopher's memory.

When we got home we watched a dvd with the kids and things were still a bit strained. I got very upset again when we went to bed but we managed to sort things out eventually.

I'm finding this all very hard and I've just about had enough.

Sarah x

Work, work and more work!

Well I've had a marathon couple of weeks! In the last 14 days I've worked 12 of them! Between working at Morrisons and invigilating at JCC I've been really busy! On top of everything I landed myself with an 8 hour shift yesterday - ouch!

One of the young girls, Alex, was going away on cub camp and asked me to do her shift 10-2pm. I said that would be ok and would be better for me as I was going to the theatre that night so it wouldn't be such a rush. I said I'd put my 2-6pm shift in the book and hoped someone would pick it up and cover it - well they didn't!!

I ended up doing two shifts back to back. I got an hour for lunch and came home which was nice and later on I had a half hour break and did my shopping so that I could get away on time.

I went home and cooked a chicken stir fry for tea and then it was time to go to the theatre again! I went with my friend Fiona and it was brilliant. Even better than on Wednesday night. We had quite a giggle, especially when we both decided to tell each other something during the show at the same time and as we leaned together to whisper we bumped heads and then had a complete fit of the giggles!

After the show Katherine was all dressed up for the after show party and she looked stunning! She had a long red dress on and just looked gorgeous.

We picked her up around 12.40am and we went to bed shortly after leaving her, Matthew and Mark down here.

I think I went off to sleep around 3am and was aware that they were still downstairs but very quiet. When we got up this morning Katherine was asleep on the top bunk in Matt's room and Matt was asleep downstairs in the chair and Mark was asleep on the sofa!!

I've no idea why they felt the need to sleep like that as we have enough beds! Kids eh??

Sarah x

That's it - she's done!

Katherine's last exam went really well. She was very positive and said it was very straightforward - we'll see about that on results day!

I can't believe that she's finished school! It's come around sooo quickly. I'm so glad that she's going on to college to do her A levels. I think she'll have a fabby time.

They don't have a uniform there so getting ready each day could be interesting lol!

I went into work an hour later than normal being as I've done overtime this week and I've got to work an 8 hour shift tomorrow! When I got home we had a chinese takeaway and Andy watched the football.

Sarah x

Last exam!!

Katherine has her last exam in the morning - it's physics. She spent two hours revising with a retired physics teacher this morning so hopefully the exam will go well - she's a bit stressed about it and it's been really hard on her this week spending every evening at the theatre and having four exams to do.

She's also applied for her first job! Just up the road at the Marina in the restaurant, they are looking for waitresses. I hope she gets a job there as it will really suit her. It will give her her own money and it's so close that she will be able to walk. I went out to work full time when I was her age!

Sarah x

The show is brilliant!

We went to see the youth theatre show last night 'back to the 80's'. I'm not sure what I expected but it was brilliant!! It was so funny and the music was great, it really took me back.

I met Andy in 1982 so all the music that was in the show reminded me of sooo much!

Katherine was really good, she did loads of dancing and considering she's always saying she can't dance, she did brilliantly!

Matthew sat on the row behind us with his 'friend' Jessica, they looked so sweet together. I don't know whether he'll ever get around to asking her out. He really likes her and she likes him, truth be told they've like each other since they were little but they are both so shy! Oh well they'll do things in their own time and it's lovely that they like to spend time together.

I'm going again to see the show on Saturday and I can't wait!

Sarah x

Isobel is a great swimmer!

According to her swimming teacher who not only teaches tots to swim but he's a coach for the county team so he knows what he's talking about!

He said she's doing far better than she should be at her age and he's really pleased with her progress.

She's in a class with 5 boys and apart from one boy she's by far one of the better swimmers. I'm so pleased with her. She's trying really hard now and is really confident in the water. Some of the boys need to hold the teachers hand before they dare jump in - not Isobel - it's clear a space cos I'm comin' in!!

Sarah x

Busy week!

Well it's been a very busy week! Between working and Morrisons and school I've worked 6 out of the last 7 days and today we had a stall at Burbage carnival so I'm about shattered!

We raised £161 today, a little down on last year but still more money in the pot.

Katherine only had 1 exam this week but has spent quite a lot of time revising which is good. Isobel keeps complaining about her tummy ache so I might take her back to the doctors. He said it's connected to the lumps in her neck but I wonder if there's anything that can be done?

Had a rough couple of days with Andy. He's stopped taking his tablets and in some ways he seems better but he just relys on me so much and if I'm not here when he expects me to be he just can't cope. I was late for work on Friday because he disappeared and I got so upset.

The main thing is that he keeps talking to me so that's a bonus. It drives me mad when he keeps everything bottled up.

We've got a problem with bloody fleas!! Even though we've treated the cat and she seems ok now, Katherine is still being bitten! I think they must be in her bedroom carpet although we've thoroughly cleaned her carpet and hoovered it really well. I'm going to have to get some special spray from the vets - more expense!

I'm really looking forward to our holiday now - only 4 weeks to go! Now I've taxed my car I'm saving each week towards spending money for the hols. It might only be £100 but it's still worth having!

I'm working 6 days again next week too and Katherine has 4 exams plus she's in a show all week at the theatre - it's very bad timing really having the show while kids are doing GCSE's and A levels.

Not long now until the kids finish for the summer hols - can't wait!

Sarah x

Carnival time!

We had a stall at the local carnival yesterday for our fund. It was a gorgeous hot and sunny day. I'm so grateful that we have a large gazebo for shade!

My sister and her partner came over to help which was fab. Andy helped Mum and Dad set up while I went to church.

We all went to help after church but Katherine couldn't stay long as she had youth theatre rehearsals.

I didn't really do much in the way of helping until we helped pack away later on as there were enough of us!

Andy and I took Isobel round the fair and he took her on the bumper cars which she loves!

It was a lovely relaxing family day out and we really enjoyed it and we raised £163 too! It was a little disappointing considering how busy it was there but after everyone had been through the very overpriced fair, I doubt they had much money left to spend!

Sarah x

Fishing!

Andy and Matthew went fishing down the canal - all night!!

Andy walked there with all the stuff and I took Matthew in the car with a few bits because his foot is still sore to walk on.

When we got there Mark was with Andy, he was just on his way home from work and he walks along the canal to get home.

He stayed with them for quite a while.

The just caught one bream and managed to get plenty of sleep. Matthew was as warm as toast in his sleeping bag and he slept on my deck chair!

I'm glad they had some time together.

Sarah x

Poor Matthew

I took him to have his verrucas and a wart on his hand frozen on Tuesday. It was quite a drastic prodecure. He was fine on Wednesday and went to school and ran two relays and came second in both! When he got home he said that his foot felt sore. Its right on his heel so it's the part that takes all the pressure.

By late Wednesday evening he could hardly walk! He's been hobbling around. Thursday morning he was crawling about on all fours so I didn't send him to school.

I said it looked like it had formed a large blood blister so later on he sterilised a needle and punctured it and got quite a lot of fluid out that eased the pain slightly.

He had a red line along his foot which was a bit worrying. He stayed off school again today and I took him to the doctors.

He checked him over and said it was very sore and swollen but that it would probably scab over in a couple of days and by Monday it should stop being so sore.

I think he's quite liked all the attention and being looked after ;o) I can't tell you that last time he had a day off school!

Here's a pic - not for the faint hearted though!

Oh and by the way.....

We seem to have given up with the 'losing' the dummies idea. She's not ready yet bless her. She did try but she just can't do it.

I don't want to make an issue out of it, I never did it with my others and they gave them up when they were ready.

So then - it's business as usual - a dummy and noonoo at bedtime lol!

Sarah x

Katherine's 16th birthday!

Well I can't believe she's 16!! How did that happen??

I decorated the house with pink birthday balloons after she'd gone to bed Tuesday evening and I put balloons and a happy birthday banner on the front door.

I took her to school in the morning as she went in to do some revision. Then I met her and her friend Chelsea in the town just after 10.30am. We had a lovely couple of hours mooching around. Chelsea got Katherine to choose a birthday present and that took the longest time! We had a drink in the cafe and then Chelsea went home and I took the girls into WHSmith to choose a book each with some book tokens they'd been given.

Katherine got her tokens for services to the school and had to choose a suitable book for the presentation evening later in the month. She chose an A level psycology book as that's what she'll be studying at 6th form college. Isobel however chose a Cinderella activity book lol!

We then took Isobel to pre-school and collected Mark and went to Maccy D's for some lunch. I was very good and only had a chicken salad deli thingy and a cup of tea.

After we went to Morrisons for a few bits and I got called a 'rude cow' but a grumpy woman who I accidentally stood in front of when she was looking in the freezers - some people hey!

We got home and Katherine and Mark walked up to collect Isobel from playgroup as it was such a lovely sunny day.

Later on 13 of us went for a meal at the Milestone in Hinckley. We had a really lovely evening. The food was fantastic and at two meals for the price of one it can't be bad!

Katherine had some beautiful flowers given to her, some from her Nan and some from us. She also had her first 'legal' drink in a restaurant, although she didn't finish it as she had to dash off to you theatre.

We had a 'fairy' party at the restaurant and I gave everyone a little silver wand lol. We got her a lovely cake and did the whole happy birthday thing and she blew out the candles but then had to go.

Later on Mark and Steve came round (Mark was working until after 9). Katherine arrived home from youth theatre shortly after and we had some fun and games here.

On the whole I think she had a lovely day and the stress and worry of her GCSE's seemed to fade into the background for a while....

Painting!

Andy has been painting the bathroom today! It really needs freshening up. We have tongue and groove wood all round and it's quite dark. We are painting it a really light cream colour it's looking so much lighter in ther already!

Andy had more counselling last night and it went much better for him. I'm so relieved. He's made another appointment for two weeks time.

I've been working at JCC today, invigilating a 2 hour history exam. It was fine, no problems. One girl just wrote her name on the paper and sat and did nothing for the whole two hours. What a waste of time!

Andy has had a good couple of days much to my relief.

I went up to the church office today and had a long chat with a friend, who is also a counsellor and that helped.

He's such a great guy and all the kids that hang round with our kids love him! He even helped write the lyrics to a song at band practise on Sunday night and they said he's 'awesome'!

He said yesterday that he can't believe all the nice stuff that people say about him because he's never felt that anyone really likes him :o(

Well they do and they think he rocks!!

Sarah x

Pic of the flowers

Here is the pic of the flowers I arranged at the cemetary yesterday.

Awful night

Had a difficult day with Andy yesterday. He did come to the church opening but he wasn't himself. He was stressed and anxious all day and I couldn't seem to snap him out of it. He did seem to chill out a bit at tea time but it didn't last for long.

When we went to bed Andy started cuddling up to me and I knew what he wanted but I'd had such a stressful day that I couldn't just switch off how I was feeling and relax enough to do all that.

He knew I wasn't into it and to cut a long story short all hell broke loose. I went downstairs and sat on my own and then went back up, then he came downstairs and then I came down after him because I was so mad at how he was treating me.

I really could have punched his lights out, I was sooo angry, I had to stop myself from shouting loud as the kids were all in bed.

He complained about all kinds of things, me being on the computer, my mobile phone - us not talking enough together. I felt like all the hard work and effort I've put in over the last few weeks had counted for nothing. I really wanted to run away, I felt like I'd failed and there was nothing more I could do.

We went back upstairs and were calmer and we chatted about all kinds of things. I just couldn't stop crying. Lots of stuff from the past came out, maybe we needed to do it to clear the air.

We didn't get to sleep until after 3am and as a consequence I missed church this morning as I was too tired to go and my eyes were still puffy from all the crying.

Today has been much better although I really do feel like I've been through a war. At one point Andy told me I didn't look very well and to be honest I didn't feel great.

Katherine and Matthew went to Morrisons for lunch with a few friends from church and me, Andy and Isobel ended up going to Asda for lunch. We bought a few bits for Katherine's birthday and then we went to the cemetary as I hadn't been for ages.

All the flowers were dead in the pot and it looked awful and I felt guilty. I put fresh ones in and they really do look gorgeous. I've taken a photo on my phone, if I can I'll upload it onto here later.

Later on we went to Morrisons to get a few more bits that we'd remembered after we'd been to Asda and we got a couple of lovely lanterns that are on offer as I wanted a new one for the cemetary. I always light a candle when I go and the old lantern is looking a bit tatty now.

We came home and put the shopping away and then went to my parents for a while and had a cup of tea with them.

Later on we collected Katherine from youth theatre rehearsals and came home and had tea.

Andy, Katherine and Matthew have all gone to band practise now, Isobel is in bed and I'm getting some much needed 'me time'.

Sarah x

Tough couple of days for Andy

After quite a good week the last couple of days have been a disappointment for us both. He's been feeling really stressed and doesn't really know why. I've told him that it's very early days and he's bound to have some bad days.

It was the official opening of our new church today and it was a brilliant service. We saw our previous vicar and his family and we couldn't believe how much the kids had grown!

I managed to get the day off work and Katherine sang at the front which was lovely.

Andy enjoyed it but was visibly stressed and not himself at all. I had to try and stay close to him the whole time.

He's just taken the kids out to a gig but I bet he won't stay out long.

I've just washed up and tidied the kitchen and am about to watch the final of Britain's Got Talent. I was pleased that Jodie won the final of Nancy!!

Sarah x

Dummies....

Well she tried very hard the first night but couldn't quite manage it. She kept getting upset and in the end I said it was up to her and she didn't have to be upset so she said she'd have it and try again the next night.

The next night was better, no tears and although she got up a couple of times and took a while to settle she went to sleep without her dummy!!

The third night was a bit of a disappointment as although she didn't ask for her dummy and we settled her down without it she got up and got it and was fast asleep with it in when we checked on her.

Today she's had a busy day and was very tired so I just gave it to her as she was having trouble settling.

We'll see how it goes.

Sarah x

Trying to give up dummies....

Well we had this idea that it was time Isobel gave up her dummies. She starts school in September and although I'm not really too fussed as Katherine was at school and still had a dummy, she used to leave it in her bed for night time lol!

I got her an Argos catalogue to look through and to choose something that she'd like in place of her dummies. Her first choice was a raised wooden playhouse that was fabulous but £329!!

In the end she settled for a battery powered motorbike at £39.99. So we went to bed last night and had a story about a little rat who struggled to give up his dummy but when he had slept 4 nights without it he got his new toy!

She tried really hard, we had lots of tears and I told her it was up to her, she said she wanted her dummy and the new toy but I said she couldn't. She tried so hard to be brave but she couldn't do it so we said we'd try again tonight.

Well today she's seen something she'd like more than a motorbike and it's a wooden rocking rabbit for £20! It's getting cheaper all the time!

She's collected her dummies up and given them to me so we'll see what tonight brings!

Sarah x

In love!

Last week Andy brought me flowers when he came in from work. One thing that has come from all these problems is that he is really in love with me and realises what a lovely family we have.

Because he's so attentive and affectionate with me it's making me fall head over heels in love with him all over again.

It's really great. I love the way he is with me, he loves me so much. We sit together on the sofa, we text when we are apart and as for the physical side of things............. well that's our business ;oP

He's quite possessive at the moment but that's understandable. I'm just trying to consider his feelings more while he's feeling so delicate.

The kids are being great too. They have been really good and are helping out around the house a little bit (not a lot just a little) in an attempt to take the pressure off us.

Sarah x

Andy went back to the dentist

He had a follow up appointment at the dentist about the problems with his mouth and the dentist has decided to refer him to the hospital for a second opinion. He said he wasn't too worried but he thought it was best to check. He thought it might be linked to problems with his tummy.

He also went to the docs and she said that the dose of tablets he was on was very low so she's doubled them so we'll see how things go.

Sarah x

X-Factor audition

Well off we went to Aston Villa Football ground just after 7am. The queues were enormous! It was a nightmare to park. I parked on the pavement in the end.

We queued for around 2 hours before we actually got into the ground and then it took another 2 hours to get into the stadium and then we waited around 5 hours until Katherine finally got her audition!

It was a good day though, the atmosphere was great and we met Dermot O'Leary! He was great, he said hi to us and rubbed Katherine on the back and said 'Hi how are you'!! Got some really good pics of him, he's a really friendly lovely guy.

Sadly Katherine didn't get through but she wasn't too worried this year. Just after her audition a girl was having her audition and she was absolutely amazing, her voice turned heads, she had a really powerful voice and sang beautifully but to our amazement she didn't get through either! That made Katherine feel a lot better.

It seemed that the early part of the day they were putting lots of people through but it got less and less as the day went on.

I think the secret is getting there as early as possible. Some people had been there since 6am!

We were out of home for around 11 hours and we were shattered when we arrived home.

Sarah x

Getting better....

The last couple of days have been much better. Andy seems to be feeling more himself. He's sleeping better although he's still anxious in the mornings.

The counsellor phoned and he's seeing her on Monday at 6.30pm, I'm so glad that he's agreed to go, I really think it will help.

I've not felt great the last couple of days and today I phoned in sick at work as I had one of the headaches that I get in my teeth and jaw, I think it's stress related but it's quite bad and today I couldn't shift it. It eventually went after a paracetamol, and extra strength co-codamol and two ibuprofen.

It was the open day at Church today. It went really well and we seemed to have lots of people visiting. Katherine and Matthew played with youth band and that went really well. Also Johnny from work was there with his jazz band and they were brilliant!

We're having an early night tonight as Katherine has an xfactor audition tomorrow and we need to be there early. Mark is staying over as he wants to come with us.

Andy has gone fishing and won't be back until the morning, it's the first time he's been in a while so I'm hoping that's a good sign.

Sarah x

Having a really hard time....

Things are really hard at home. Andy isn't well at all. Each day seems to bring a new battle and as soon as we overcome that something else crops up. It's so hard and I'm exhausted but I'm determined to fight on and help him through this.

Today was about the worst, he didn't come home from work and didn't answer any of my texts. I found him at his Mum's painting - she's away on holiday so I guessed he'd be there. He even looks poorly, really tired and not himself at all. I can't tell you what he told me he'd been planning today, it's just so awful.

He's agreed to get some counselling so I contacted my friend and she's organising that for me. I'm also changing him over to my GP as I think he'll get better care there. I think the way he's feeling is a side effect of the tablets he's taking, I also think the dose may be too low.

Please spare us a thought and a prayer. It's affecting the whole family. I love him so much and he's trying so hard. He's so affectionate and keeps telling me how much he loves me and how beautiful I am which is something he's never done.

Most of the time family life is better than ever and he knows he's not well but just can't seem to control his thoughts and feelings.

Sarah x

Lovely weekend

We had a really nice weekend, mainly due to the weather. Andy was a bit up and down Friday and Saturday but much better yesterday.

On Friday night I took him up to the Marina for a meal, just the two of us. We had a really good talk while we were waiting for our food and Andy really needed to talk as he felt really stressed. He said he felt much better for talking and I said it's always better to talk things through than bottle it all up.

On Saturday I took Andy and the kids over to Bosworth water Park and Steve and Mark went over to join them on their peds. I packed them up a picnic but I had to come back to go to work! I went straight back after work and we stayed until quite late. They all had a lovely time and Mark and Steve got sunburn because they didn't put any cream on!

Yesterday we went to Church and then I took Isobel to Lilly's party. We had a really lovely time. In the afternoon the kids went to perform at a confirmation at a local church. It was a bit hectic and somehow Katherine ended up getting left behind! As she was the main singer that wasn't good so our Vicar, John came back and collected her - he thought it was all very funny.

We had a fairly relaxing evening and something that I was selling for Andy on ebay made a good price so he was pleased.

This morning we've been to swimming lessons and into town. I'm just going to drop Isobel off at my parents and I'm doing a 4 hour shift at work.

Sarah x

Not so good today

He had a mouth full of blood again this morning and he said he felt really really scared.

He's been really stressed again this evening. We went out for a 'date' this evening, just the two of us. We walked up to the local marina for a meal and had a lovely evening.

I think it's going to be a long time before he's back to normal but at least he's talking lots.

He's convinced that the tablets are making him feel worse too.

Sarah x

Been to the dentist

Everything is fine! The dentist had a really good look and he said he has a fissure, he said it can be caused by biting the tongue or eating something hot although Andy can't remember doing either.

He had a real good 'dig around' in the fissure (yuk) and said he hadn't managed to make it bleed so it shouldn't bleed again.He's given him some mouth wash and asked him to go back in a week and said he was right to go and see him.

Andy feels so much better now, he's a really good dentist and we all trust him so he's really put his mind at rest.

He put his arms around me before I went to work and told me that he was really going to look after me now and realised how much I meant to him. I said yeah give it 6 months till you are feeling better and everything will be back to how it was so he said I've not got to let him!

I hope this is the start of him feeling better now as he's been fantastic, even the kids have noticed how chatty and lovely he's been.

He brought them all into Morrisons for their tea tonight and when I went on my break I sat with them in the cafe.

Sarah x x

Andy not very well

We had a lovely evening yesterday. Andy was very affectionate, I told Mum I felt like a cat cos everytime he walked by me he stroked my hair or rubbed my face :oD

He felt loads better until we went to bed and he started to feel all anxious again and his tummy hurt. I told him that I thought that was natural and not to worry.

When he got up for work this morning his tongue was pouring with blood again for the third morning in a row and it really scared him. He looked awful and I know he went into a real panic, he asked me if he was going to die I have to say I'm not happy at all and really worried about this spot on his tongue. I don't think for a moment that he's bitten it because for a start it doesn't hurt at all and whenever I've bitten my tongue it's really sore and also I've not known my tongue to bleed days after I've supposed to have bitten it.

I rang the dentist and he can't see him until tomorrow afternoon which is a real pain.

I now have the job of trying not to panic and trying to keep him from panicing too.

Sarah x

Had a great day

Me and Andy went off to Morrisons this morning and Isobel sat in the trolley which was really nice. We left Katherine having her highlighted and Matt had his hair but by my friend Michelle from work.

We got a trolley full of goodies and came home and the weather was already warming up and it was really sunny.

We completely forgot that we'd never yet used the new BBQ and it had to be assembled so Andy was busy doing that while I sorted the food.

My sister Jane and her partner Lyn came over from Nottingham and my parents came too. We had a really lovely day. The food was great and the company was even better.

Later on Katherine's friend Mark called round and him and Matthew had a bit of a jam on the guitars in the garden. Andy had a go too as Matthew taught him something while we were out last night!

Amazing performance

Last night Katherine sang at the Miss Hinckley finals at a local hotel. It was a really big event and among the judges was tv's own Bill Maynard and Miss England!

She was very nervous. She had to sing Bryan Adam's 'Everything I do' and during the instrumental her friend Jade danced in front of her.

She was totally awesome! That had to be one of her best ever performances. She hit every note bang on and she sang with passion and real power. I was so impressed and I've seen her sing so many times before.

I was very proud as one of the organisers sat next to me and she said that she'd heard her sing and she was brilliant but she'd heard that she was good beforehand!

Hopefully we'll get a copy of the official dvd that was made and I'll be able to upload the clip.

Sarah x

In the paper again!

Here is a follow up article that was in the Hinckley Times on Thursday.

Rough couple of days

Well I've had a really rough couple of days. I can't really go into detail in a blog on the net as it's a bit personal.

I took the day off work today, phoned in sick but was honest about why. I didn't want to phone in sick but it needed to be done and I've done enough overtime this week to cover my contract so it should be ok.

I've been so low and spent time last night crying. Life can be so hard at times.

I went into town today and met my Mum for lunch and managed to scrape the front of my car along a wall :o(

I lost concentration I think due to stress and lack of sleep.

It's not helped that I keep having to go to the kids schools to take things they've forgotten, they really need to organise themselves better!

The kids are out at band practise now and I have the house to myself as Isobel is asleep. It's very peaceful.

I've had a good tidy round and am just going to read the paper and then have a bath.

There is a lovely article in the Hinckley Times again about the tea party. I'll post it if I get chance to scan it in. The only downside was that it didn't mention my Mum and she worked so hard on the day :o(

Sarah x

How hard can it be?

Ok little bit of background whenever I cook mince - I cook it 'dry' and I always drain off the excess fat.....

But Andy cooked tea tonight as I was at work, I left everything ready it was spag bol but he didn't drain the mince so it was a tad greasy, even though I buy lean mince, but very nice.

I cooked the spaghetti when I got in from work.All Matthew had to do was carry his dinner from the kitchen into the front room and put it on the table and eat it....

Simple?

Well maybe not......

......as he arrived at the table.... he promptly tipped the whole lot off his plate into the middle of the table....

then.... as he tried to clean it up...... he decided to put his plate on the edge of the table and scoop it back onto his plate but managed to get it over not one but TWO of my new cream chairs and now they have bright orange stains on them!

Wouldn't you think a 13 year old boy could carry his meal 20 feet successfully without there being a major disaster?

Happy Birthday Kip

It would have been Christopher's 10th birthday today, I can hardly believe it. He would no longer be our little 4 year old son who loved Thomas the Tank and Bob the Builder. I wonder what he would have wanted for his birthday.

I was still awake at 12.15am which is when he was born and I thought back to the first time I held him in my arms.

I went to the cemetary today and took some flowers and lit a candle in the little lantern there. It was sad to see his name on the stone.

The tea party went really well! There is a copy below of the newspaper article that was in the local paper yesterday. It's such a fab article we are really pleased with it.

We raised around £180 in just two hours We already have over £1,000 to send off to Edward's Trust. The money just keeps coming in!

It was really manic at the school. My Mum helped and my sister and Andy and boy did we need them!!

I had some gorgeous balloons printed with the Christopher's Fund logo and McDonalds donated some of the stick things that you put them on and my sister and Andy spent the whole two hours blowing up balloons and putting them on sticks!

All the children went away with a balloon as a momento which was really nice.

Morrisons gave us £45 worth of stuff for the party yesterday and I've just taken £20 back which was really good. They wanted to make sure we had enough and were happy for us to bring back the stuff that we didn't use and I was happy to do that.

They only usually let people have £5 to spend but the GM there has also lost a son so it's something close to his heart.

Sarah x

Had a lovely day today

It's been a really relaxing day today so far!

I took Katherine to school just after 8am and then came home and got Isobel ready for playgroup. We were a little late as she insisted on making her own toast and putting her own butter and jam on!

While she was at playgroup I came home and did a few jobs. I also wrote a shopping list of bits I'd forgotten to get last night as I shopped after work and I'm always in a hurry to get home.

I collected Isobel from playgroup and took her up to pre-school with a packed lunch. She loves it there. We only have 15 minutes in between playgroup and pre-school so I have to be organised. I quickly changed her top (pre-school have a uniform) tidied up her hair and left her.

I went off to Morrisons and got my other bits of shopping, plus more besides lol! I then had a cup of tea in the cafe as I'd not had time to have one earlier.

I got chatting to a lady as I came out of Morrisons who I'd never spoken to before in my life, we had a lovely chat. It's really nice to meet strangers and chat for a while.

I put the shopping in the car and then remembered Isobel needed some new dummies as she'd punctured all her others! She only really has them at night time now so hopefully these will be the last!

I came home and put my shopping away, tinkered about on the pc for a while. I then printed off a load of fliers about the tea party on Friday and took them into pre-school and asked them to give them out to all the parents.

We came home and I've sorted out the recylcing that's piling up outside as they don't collect plastic here yet but we save it and take it every now and then.

Andy has just arrived home with Katherine, and Matthew should be home just after 4pm.

We have turkey and fresh vegetables for tea and I will do some yorkshire puds to go with it as they are Isobel's favourite - yum!

Sarah x

Wow busy weekend!

This weekend our church did a 'weekend at home' as we've all been so busy getting ready to move into the new church and then moving in we thought it would be good to have a weekend just to chill out and enjoy each others company.

The weekend kicked off with a meal on Friday evening which was lovely. It was a bit of a rush for me as I was at work but as I'd done some overtime my supervisor let me finish half an hour early so that I could get home and changed and up to church for 7.30pm. Katherine came with me.

We had a lovely meal and the highlight was some cheesecake that a man named Chris had made, it was absolutely gorgeous! I ate far too much and felt really bloated when I got home.

The next morning we were back up at church at 10am and Katherine sang in the worship group and we had a morning of teaching from a guy from a church in Leamington called Andrew and it was really good.

We had a break for coffee and then a girl called Vicky did a talk. She'd previously been a drug addict and talked about her life before and after drugs and all the amazing work she and her church were doing as outreach in their local community. I was really inspired.

We all had lunch together but then I had to leave for work at 1.30pm but I left the children there as they were having a great time.

I finished work at 6pm and went back to church where we had a fish and chip supper and some family entertainment from lots of church members.

It was a brilliant evening. Katherine and Matthew did a song together, Matt played guitar and Katherine sung and they were really good. Isobel did a song by herself that she'd made up and she was soooo sweet and everyone loved her.

There are so many talented children and teenagers in our church, we are very blessed and we had a brilliant evening.

We arrived home just after 9pm and put Isobel to bed and ended up with Chris, Steve and Mark coming round and staying here until just after midnight! We had a good laugh with them though.

We were back at church this morning for 10.45am where we had an all age worship and coffee together.

When we left we brought my friends daughter, Jessica, home with us and she stayed for lunch. I think she's quite sweet on Matthew ;o)

I did spaghetti and meatballs. I've never done it before and it was really lovely.

The kids watched a dvd this afternoon and we took Jessica home just before 6pm.

Andy, Katherine and Matthew have just gone back to church for band practise and Isobel is doing some washing up for me! Bless her.

I'm just going to prize her away from the kitchen sink (that wont last) and bath her and put her to bed, although she had quite a long sleep this afternoon in our bed as she was so tired from the busy weekend.

Sarah x

Yay go CYT!!

Last year Katherine performed Les Miserables with the local Youth Theatre. It was her second show with them and it was brilliant, totally amazing and they got a standing ovation almost every night.

What they didn't realise was that one of the top men in the country who goes around reviewing youth theatre productions was in the audience one evening.

Apparently each year they are nomination for different things, best show, best programme etc. Well there was an awards ceremony last night at our local theatre and some of the youth theatres performed a scene from their shows and our youth theatre did 'One day more' from Les mis. Well they won best show!!!! They were all sooooo pleased. They had to perform their scene a second time as they were the winners and again they got a standing ovation!

I'm so proud of them all. It was a truly amazing show. This year they are doing 'Back to the 80's' and I'm really looking forward to that one too!

Sarah x

Back to work....

I had a lovely day yesterday. I went to WW in the morning and had stayed the same as the week before which I was quite happy with as I'd had a bad weekend but am really back on track now so hopefully I'll see a weightloss next week.

I collected Isobel from playgroup and took her to pre-school with her beautiful new lunch bag that Alison bought her for her birthday. She loves it so much there. After I dropped her off and took my car to the valet place and left it for them to clean while I went into town to meet my Mum and Alison for lunch.

We had a really nice lunch, it's great to catch up. I saw Sarah (Andy's daughter) in town with her little girl Morgan and was really sad to hear that her other daughter Ashleigh is living with her Dad and Sarah hasn't seen her since Christmas :o(
I'm going to try and get in touch with Ashleigh and maybe have her over to stay for the weekend if she'll come. It's such a shame that the family are separated.

I went back to work in the afternoon and I had sciatica really bad and had to stand up for most of my 4 hour shift. I've had it on and off for years but never as bad as that. I took some pain killers which helped a bit but I think it's time to go to the docs and see what they say.

Today

Isobel went to playgroup again this morning and I came home and had a bath and washed my hair and then went up to the Leisure Centre to sign Katherine up for the gym. They do an under 16's gym and it's only £12 a month. She's been nagging me for a couple of years but I always thought it would be too expensive. I didn't realise that they did one for under 16's a lot cheaper. After that I collected Isobel and took her to McDonalds for lunch as she really wanted to go. It was actually really nice and I was good and only had a McChicken sarni and a cup of tea - no fries!

When I got back Andy was home but there was only really time to do a few jobs and have a cup of tea before I had to go to work.

Work was ok and went really quickly as it was busy. I meet some really lovely people at work and most of the customers are really nice.

I'm really impressed with how many people bring or buy re-usable bags for their shopping. Times are really beginning to change and I've noticed that in the short time I've been working at Morrisons. I hate plastic bags and the sooner they get rid of them completely the better!

When I got home Matthew was playing his guitar and Katherine was watching tv. Isobel was in bed fast asleep!

Katherine was really tired after her gym induction and playing badminton!

Andy has gone fishing for the night so that means I get the bed to myself (yay). I always sleep much better when he's not there.

I've sorted some washing and swept and cleaned the kitchen floor and Katherine is just washing up! I've told her she's got to do lots of jobs now that I've paid for her to join the gym!

Sarah x

Isobel went shopping!

Well after just one day back at school Katherine had the day off today! I was greatful as it meant I didn't have to dash out early to take her.

She had what they call a PLP day which is like an informal chat with the teacher to see how they are doing. I went in with her this time and it was actually very helpful. She's going really well and is above target for most of her subjects and attaining A's and B's!

We discussed whether she might do her A levels at school or college and he suggested that it might not be a great loss if she didn't do a music A level and came back to studying music when she's 18.

He felt that her strengths lie in her academic studies and because she's involved in music anyway it would be better to concentrate on A levels, keep up with the music in her spare time and come back to it later on. I think that's really good advice.

I think she can pick up her music at any time during her life but it's only really now that she'll ever do A levels and it's only now that she can do them for free!

He pointed out that she only has 6 weeks left of full time school before her exam leave starts! He suggested we buy some revision guides which we did and hopefully she'll get down to some serious revision over the next few weeks.

While we were at school Isobel went shopping with her Godmother Alison. She took her birthday shopping and out for lunch!

Alison asked Isobel what she wanted and she couldn't get any further than saying something pink!! So she came back with a lovely pink lunch box which she can take her lunch to pre-school in every day. Alison also dropped her off at pre-school which was great as it meant that after the school interview me and Katherine didn't have to watch the clock. We went into Asda and tried some clothes on, although we didn't buy anything and then had some lunch in the cafe.

After that we came home, put the shopping away and went a walk over the post office.

I got a bargain in Asda for tea. A huge turkey breast reduced from over a tenner to £7!! So we had roast turkey, new potatoes, diced carrot and swede, brocolli and gravy for tea and it was delicious! There is enough turkey left for sandwhiches too!

We've had a fairly quiet afternoon. Katherine did some washing up (wonders will never cease). Matthew practised on his guitar for a bit and now Katherine is out at Youth Theatre.

Isobel was really tired and was in bed for 7pm.

I'm just going up to have a bath and then hopefully will have a few games of cards with my friend Lorraine before bed.

Andy seems in a better mood today. He was a bit quiet and grumpy yesterday, I think he's just tired.

I think I'm going to be brave and go to weightwatchers in the morning as I've been good all week and think I may have lost some weight although I'm not holding my breath!

I've been making some arrangements for the tea party that I plan to do on Christopher's birthday. More about that soon so if you are local please put Friday 25th April 2pm-4.30pm into your diary please and keep it free!

Sarah x

Back to school

The children went back to school today. It was a real shock to the system having to get up and out early after all our lovely long lie ins over the Easter hols.

I was amazed to have to scrape frost off the car too. Isobel went back to playgroup with no problems and I came home and did a few jobs and then I have to confess I went back to bed for a while as I was so shattered. I've not been sleeping well the last couple of nights.

I collected Izzy from Westfield playgroup at half past 11 then dashed home, got her changed into her uniform, collected her packed lunch and took her up to pre-school at our new church. She was sooo excited to be taking lunch to eat there. She'd given me specific instructions as to what she wanted in her lunch box - a tuna sandwhich, crisps, a drink and a chocolate bar! I also put some grapes in too but she didn't eat those.

She had a lovely time and I came home and had a good tidy round which she was there. It seemed strange being in home on my own most of the day after having had them all home for over 2 weeks.

We were supposed to have a band practise up at church this evening but we got there only to discover that it had been cancelled but no one let us know! I have to confess I was really cross as I hate being messed about. It was never like this when Andy was in charge but hey-ho ours is not to reason why.

The kids are going out again later to youth cell so hopefully that's not cancelled too!

While I was waiting for someone to turn up at church I ended up shepherding all the brownie into the small hall as it's the first time they have met in the new church, good job I was there really.

I've been really good and stuck to my diet really well over the last two days. I've also got my pedometer on too. Hopefully it means I'm back on track. I really need to lose more weight before our hols in July.

The kids are just bathing Isobel so I guess I better go and organise them. I'm sure she'll sleep well tonight after going to two playgroup sessions today!

I've put a little poll on my blog. If you visit regularly and find it interesting please choose 'yes' on the poll, if it's boring then choose 'no' and I'll make an effort to make it more interesting.

Sarah x

Swimming lessons!

Isobel started a new swimming class today. She's been going on Saturay morning for a few weeks but we missed the re-enrolment and they gave her place away!

I rang in on Saturday to check before we went for the lesson and it's a good job I did! So now she's going at 10.30am on Monday with a new teacher called Alex. Actually Monday suits us much better as its the only day of the week that Isobel isn't at playgroup and it saves me getting up early on Saturdays as I have to be in work for 2pm so it'll be nice to relax.

She got on really well - she's the only girl there with 5 boys! Her new teacher seems really nice and he's quite dishy too lol!

When we got back I decided to wake Matthew up as it was 12.15! He came down and went to the fridge to get himself something to eat and it was almost empty!

We ended up going to Morrisons to do even more shopping and for some reason the kids all came with me! I also remembered to take a huge bag of plastic that we'd saved for recycling. They don't collect plastic yet here and as we always have such a lot of plastic to recycle it seems to mount up and we get loads because I just keep forgetting to take it!

We're stocked up now and I'm going to do a chicken tray bake for tea which is vegetables roasted in olive oil and chicken breast and I'll do some boiled veg to go with it.

I've just packed some stuff from my website and walked over to the post box so that's another job out of the way.

I'm trying to get back on track with my diet from today as I was crap over the weekend again. So far I've been good but it's usually the evenings when I lose the plot.

Andy has come in from work and gone for a lie down as his stomach isn't very good, he suffers from time to time as he has diverticulitis. Katherine is in her bedroom (hopefully) doing homework and Matt is in his room - he was playing his guitar but it's gone quiet now so I guess he's on his playstation. Isobel has just gone upstairs with one of her new books to see if Daddy will read it to her.

She's really tired today after a busy day yesterday and then swimming this morning. I feel quite tired myself today too. I think it was being so busy yesterday and then I didn't sleep very well last night, it took me ages to get to sleep. I think I stayed up too late playing cards with Lorraine!

I keep thinking about Michelle's wonderful news and I'm so pleased for them. They really deserve this as they've had a real shitty few years. I've been praying that they'd be pregnant soon and now I pray for a healthy happy pregnancy and a perfect bundle of joy at the end of it.

Sarah x

Birthday pics

Here is a link to the pictures take today and Isobel's party.

Happy Birthday Isobel!

Well Isobel is 4 today and we woke up to snow! Everywhere looked so pretty!

We opened some presents before we went to church and after church we went to my parents for lunch and they had bought her a gorgeous pink bike! She really loved it. We videod most of the day but we've not watched it yet.

It has snowed on and off all way which has been lovely. In the afternoon my Aunt and Uncle called at my parents with a present for Isobel and they had bought her some moon sand - just what she wanted - I wonder how they knew that! lol.

4pm was party time! We hired the brand new playgroup room at church and Isobel had 9 friends over including my friend Elly and her two girls who came all the way from Birmingham. My oldest friend Alison and her twin girls, my good friend Michelle and her daughter Lilly (Isobel's best friend) and Michelle announced that she's pregnant which is the most wonderful news - I'm so pleased and excited for them.

The party went really well and everyone seemed to have a great time. When I was tidying up after everyone had gone - I checked the fridge only to find half the party food still in there! I can't believe it - I'm such a dope! Everyone must have thought I was a right cheapskate putting out so little food - but half of it was sitting in the bloody fridge!

Never mind I left some of it for the church youth band as Katherine and Matthew are there rehearsing and I'm sure it will get eaten.

Isobel is really tired now and I'm just going to put her to bed.

She's had so many lovely presents, we need to find somewhere to put them all now!

Sarah x

Really tough

I'm finding it really hard at the moment. I got so upset before I went to sleep last night. I just felt exhausted at carrying this grief around with me all the time. It's not like I'm grief stricken or even sad every day but it's always there. It underpins and overshadows so much of my life.

I was grief stricken last night, so much so that I couldn't even properly cry. The pain comes from so deep within. My loss feels so great, my hurt so deep, my anger almost like a rage, I miss him so much, my arms are so empty without him.

It's hard at the moment because Isobel will be 4 tomorrow and the contrast between them is so huge. She's so excited, so full of life, so well and he was so ill, so fragile, he couldn't walk and struggled even to be interested in his presents.

Christopher's 4th birthday was his last and just 8 weeks later he was gone.

I'm trying so hard to enjoy all the preparations for Isobel's birthday, and I am. I love her excitement and listening to her tell anyone who will listen that's it her birthday but it's so hard too.

Christopher left such a massive gap in our lives and nothing can ever fill that. People thought I was trying to replace him by having Isobel but they couldn't be more wrong - it's impossible to replace a human life, it's impossible to replace something that's not gone, it's impossible to replace a love that's as strong as ever.

I think back to how ill he was on his fourth birthday and how the whole day was such a struggle for him. I feel so emotional but I'm trying to hide it for Isobel and for everyone else.

When I eventually went off to sleep last night I dreamt about Kip. It was such a lovely dream and he was wearing one of my favourite t-shirts. It was blue and red stripes and I always like him in it. There is a photo of him on the beach wearing it.

I think dreams are special, I think they are a way of our loved ones letting us know they are near - dreams are blessings and mean so much.

Sarah x

Visit to docs

I took Isobel to the doctors today. They've been monitoring some lumps in her neck for a few months now, one is particularly big and is visible just by looking at it. I've also noticed that her tonsil that side is very swollen and red so I thought I'd take her for a check up.

She was as good as gold and let the doc have a look down her throat. He said 'wow that is one huge tonsil'. He then said she has something which was very long and I can't remember but basically it's lumpy glands. He asked me if she was well in herself and I said she gets a lot of tummy ache but that I doubted it was connected but he said it was connected. He said if she has these lumps in her neck then she will have them in other places in her body too including her tummy and they stretch the stomach lining causing tummy ache which is why she has a lot of tummy pain.

He said that he doesn't want to do anything at the moment, the tonsil is doing it's job and catching all the bugs. He said he might want to do a blood count at some stage but not at the moment as getting blood from tots is never easy.

After the docs we went into town and met my Mum and Katherine as Katherine wasn't ready when we left the house so Mum called and picked her up. We had lunch together in the town which was really nice and we then nipped into Wilkos for more party bits and I bought some new knickers from Peacocks.

We got home and I went to work and Andy was up at church doing more bits and pieces to finish off.

When I got home the boiler was fixed - yay! At last! It will be soooo nice not having to run upstairs all the time to relight it. He's also fitted a carbon monoxide detector because he said the boiler is situated far to close to where we all sleep and carbon monoxide is a killer and can't be detected so for the sake of £40 it was worth fitting on and it's guaranteed for 5 years.

When I got home from work Andy had gone fishing! He never said a word to me!

The kids had had their tea so I got myself something and then we put Isobel to bed and we've just been watching telly and relaxing.

I'm just about to play cards online with my friend Lorraine for an hour or so before bed!

Sarah x

I'm getting fat!

Well another busy day really. I went to Weightwatchers this morning even though I really didn't want to. I've gained another 1.5lbs so I've gone up to 10 stone 3.5lbs now, if I go past 10 5 I'll have to pay again! Hopefully I'm back on track again now though and I want to lose weight for our holiday in July.

After WW I picked the children up and we went to McDonalds for lunch, that was nice. It's good to have junk food every now and then but it's also nice just to 'chill' together.

We then went to Morrisons to do some 'party' shopping. Isobel was soooo excited and several times I had to tell her not to shout as we weren't deaf! She was buzzing around Morrisons and telling everyone she met that her name was Isobel and her birthday was April 6th and she was going to be 4!!

She took ages to choose a birthday cake but fortunately she chose the one that was the best value for money - phew!

After that we called at my parents house. Dad has been cutting the big oak tree down and he needed help to stack the logs that he'd cut for their fire. It was a lovely afternoon, overcast but warm and the kids ended up staying at my parents house as I had to come home to wait for the gas man to come and fix the boiler.

It was nice to come home to an empty 'quiet' house and I'd just settled down with a cup of tea to read the Hinckley Times and the gas man turned up!

He has diagnosed the boiler and is coming back tomorrow to fix it. Andy came home just as he was about to leave and he stayed and chatted for quite a while and by the time he went it was time for me to go to work - so much for a peaceful afternoon!

The kids had a lovely time at my parents. Matthew went to gymnastics but the girls stayed for tea. I had an ok time at work and it went by fairly quickly.

When I finished work I came home and had some tea and then went up to church where Katherine, Matthew, Chris and another lad called Matt where all rehearsing together. I took a bottle of Shloer up in a Bacardi breezer bottle and let all the kids have a drink and it was so funny because they thought they were having alcohol. I wanted to see if they would act tipsy just because they thought they'd had a drink but it didn't really work.

After a while I took them all home - the journey home was interesting to say the least. Three lads in the back of the car me and Katherine in the front and three guitars and an amp shoved somewhere in the back too!

We were all a bit hyper and when we got to Chris's house his brother came out to us and Katherine decided to drive the car! Fortunately she forgot she had to put it in gear so after revving the hell out of it for a few seconds gave up - thank goodness!

Well we're home now and it's late and time for bed and the kids are doing my head in now so I'm gonna end this blog and paste them around the room and send them to bed.

Sarah x

A busy day!

Well! It's been a busy day really. We went for Katherine's guidance interview at college which was good but confusing and slightly disappointing.

If she does the btec diploma in music that she wants to do, it will give her 3 A levels and get her into uni but it's limiting her to one specific area ie. music. She can't do any other A levels alongside that course as it's full time.

She can do 4 A levels which will get her into uni subject to her results and two of them could be music A levels but we're not sure which A levels yet.

He's making her two appointments, one to see someone about A levels and another to see someone about the btec course so hopefully that will make it all clearer - I flippin hope so anyway!

After the interview I dropped Isobel off at my mother in laws, she'd been in the park opposite the college with Matthew while we were at the interview and she'd had a lovely time.

I took Katherine and Matthew to Asda and we all bought a sarni each which we ate in the car. By the time we got home there was only time for me to have a cup of tea as I had to get ready and be in work for 1.30pm.

Work was ok but I felt tired today, I think it's coming up to TOTM so that could explain it. I text Andy to put some jacket spuds in the oven and when I finished work I bought some salad stuff and some pasta and we had jacket spuds and salad for tea which was really nice.

This evening I took Katherine to youth theatre and I went off to my cell (church meeting) group. I've not been for a while and I actually really enjoyed it.

We did this thing where you read a passage from the bible and then share what you felt God was saying for another person and I had three different messages from three different people for me and they were all virtually identical!

It certainly seems that God was speaking to them for me. I'm going to write down what they all shared as it's very important.

I've just collected Katherine from youth theatre and come home and hopefully one of my lovely children is going to make me a cup of tea!

Sarah x

Pics

Almost forgot! I curled Isobel's hair this afternoon and Katherine put her some make-up on and she dressed up as a Princess - well I just couldn't miss a photo opportunity like that could I?

Here is a link to the pics.

Sarah x

Dinner was fab!

Well would you believe it! The kids decided to help with tea! I made a gorgeous vegetable soup which Matthew helped with, even though at one point he was more amused with the sound of a piece of courgette slapping down onto the tile floor. I dropped it by accident and he thought the sound was so good that he spent a couple of minutes reinacting the incident! Needless to say that that piece of courgette didn't make it into the soup!

Katherine helped make the bolognaise and we also added green pepper and mushrooms to it which Matthew chopped by himself!

Isobel decided she didn't want to miss out so she helped by putting the mushrooms into the casserole!

It was a really delicious tea and the veggie soup made it very healthy.

The lads are all in the front room now 'jammin' on their guitars. I've just had a bath and washed my hair and Andy and Katherine are watching Hotel Babylon.

Katherine has an interview at the local college tomorrow to see whether she can do a music course and A levels there.

Sarah x

Hair cut day!

My friend Michelle from work came round this morning and cut mine, Matthew's, Katherine's and Isobel's hair - well all look very neat and tidy.

Michelle is a really lovely girl and has just finished with her long term boyfriend so she's feeling a bit fragile at the moment. I personally think she's done the right thing as at only 19 she's far too young to be in an unhappy relationship.

Later on me and Katherine went to Morrisons to get more bits for tea - I'm cooking for 6 tonight!

I'm doing a vegetable soup to start and that will be Isobel's main meal as I'm also doing spaghetti bolognaise and she won't eat that.

Chris is coming round again to play guitar with Matthew - hence the extra one for tea and later on Mark is coming round to have a jam too.

I've bought a couple of cans of larger and some cider for the older ones although I won't be encouraging my two to drink any!

It should be a really fun night I'm looking forward to it.

Missing Kip

I've been really missing Christopher recently. I think it's a combination of it being the anniversary of his surgery, his birthday coming up and the fact that I'm planning Isobel's birthday party two and she'll be 4, the same age as Christopher was when he died. It will be such a different party than he had as he was so very ill when he had his 4th birthday.

I just miss him so much and would give anything for him to be back here with us, to touch him, smell him and stroke his beautiful hair.

I really enjoy having the kids off school, although I have to say we are sleeping in far too late! We just can't seem to get over the hour that we lost at the weekend!

Roast turkey for tea

Well we had a roast turkey breast that I bought from Morrisons and I did mash, carrots, brocolli and peas. It was delicious!

I'm really enjoying cooking, I can't believe that for so many years I relied on ready meals, frozen veg and crap!

I must keep on top of my eating though. After having lost 5 stone I'm finding it really hard to stay on track at the moment. I decided today that I like being slim more than I like eating food and chocolate so I'm going to try really hard to get back in gear and start losing weight again.

I've been a lot more active over the last couple of days too and did lots of walking yesterday. I need to exercise more - I just wish I could motive myself to go swimming regularly.

If only we could afford a house with its own swimming pool!

Sarah x

Welcome to my blog

Hi,
I've been blogging on our fund website on and off but I decided to get my own blog after reading through a friend's blog last night.

I'll try and post most days if I get chance.

It's the anniversary of our son Christopher's first brain surgery after he was diagnosed with a brain tumour so I've been quite thoughtful today.

The operation lasted over 8 hours and me, my sister Jane and my husband Andy went into Birmingham city centre to try and pass the time.

I remember being so scared that he wouldn't know us when he woke up or that he'd be disabled in some way as they had warned us of the risks of the surgery.

We've not done alot to day really. We got up late as it's still Easter holidays here. We had a bath and washed our hair and me, Katherine and Isobel went to Morrisons to do the shopping and had lunch in the cafe.

Matthew stayed here and had a bath and washed his hair too.

I rang British gas homecare to call them out to our boiler as the pilot light keeps going out and it's a real pain.

Mark (Katherine's friend from the band) called round for a while and I'm just thinking what to do for tea now although I'm not very hungry as it's not been long since we ate.

Sarah x

New friend!

We've made a new friend. His name is Chris and he works in the cafe at Morrisons. I've known him for a couple of years but never really got to know him very well until I started work at Morrisons.

Last week he offered to come round and give Matthew some guitar tuition and he's been a few times since.Matthew has learned loads and Chris is an awesome guitar player.A couple of times he's stayed for tea as it was tea time so I made extra so that there'd be enough for him too. They also went to the club on Saturday and played on stage together with Katherine singing - it was really good. It's on You Tube if you want to see.

Anyway last night Andy took Chris home and after an hour came back! He'd been sat chatting in the car. I was chatting to Chris on MSN later that night and he said that he'd never met a family that had made him feel as welcome as we had from the minute he set foot in the door. He thinks we are all amazing and really lovely.

I'm so touched by what he said. I think we're a lovely family but when others say it too, and they often do, then we must really be!I t's amazing what good friends we've all become.

Chris has a great sense of humour, as do we all so he fits in really well!He seems to like my cooking too so it's all good!

Sarah x